At this year鈥檚 National Rifle Association annual meeting, President Donald Trump invited some special guests on stage. The first was a from Virginia, April Evans.

鈥淥ne night in 2015 she was alone with her two-year-old daughter when an intruder broke into her home violently,鈥� said Trump.

鈥淎pril took care of it.鈥�

The crowd swooned.

Evans told them she shot the man twice and held him at gunpoint until police responded. Stories like hers reinforce an idea both the NRA and the gun industry have emphasized for decades: Guns keep women safe in an unsafe world.

Decades ago, that the presence of a gun in a home increased the risk of violence in that home. Since then, have that are to danger for in particular. Nevertheless, self-defense is still the women own firearms. For many women gun owners, it may not matter that crime stats don鈥檛 line up with how their guns make them feel.

The Equalizer

There鈥檚 a commonly held idea in pro-gun circles that guns level the playing field between the strong and the weak.

鈥淭here鈥檚 all these kinds of mantras and phrases,鈥� said University of Arizona sociologist Jennifer Carlson. 鈥淎nd then there is one that鈥檚 some version of: 鈥楪od created man and woman, but [gunmaker] Samuel Colt made them equal.鈥欌赌�

Samuel Colt was an American inventor, industrialist, businessman, and hunter. Today would have been his 204th birthday! 鈥淕od Created Men and Sam Colt Made Them Equal!鈥� (Courtesy/Colt Firearms)

鈥� NRA Blog (@NRAblog)

Carlson is the author of 鈥淐itizen-Protectors: The Everyday Politics of Guns in an Age Of Decline,鈥� and as part of her research, she became an NRA-certified instructor. She said plenty of that training is about the basics of shooting skills and safety.

鈥淏ut kind of underlying all of this is a presumption about crime that whatever happens to you it鈥檚 probably going to be strangers who perpetrate it,鈥� said Carlson. 鈥淚t鈥檚 going to be sudden, it鈥檚 going to be fast and it鈥檚 going to be violent. And really the only thing you have to do is figure out how to basically train your muscle memory to respond as fast as possible.鈥�

What gets left out of that narrative, according to Carlson, is that most don鈥檛 look like that. Neither does domestic violence.

鈥淵ou鈥檙e experiencing crime and victimization, , acute moment of violence, but it鈥檚 generally in the form of mental abuse, psychological abuse, financial abuse,鈥� said Carlson.

, attacks from strangers make up less than a third of violent crimes against women. The vast majority of violence women face comes from people they know.

In 2017, more than 2.9 million women were victims of a violent crime. Most of them knew the aggressor (64%). On the other hand, 45% of the men victimized in 2017 knew who the offender was.

Luis Melgar / Guns & America

Janet

Janet Paulsen jumps the wake during a practice session on her adaptive slalom sit ski at Lake Allatoona in Acworth, Georgia, on Sunday April 21, 2019. She was paralyzed in one leg after her husband shot her.

Bita Honarvar / WABE

In Janet Paulsen鈥檚 case, the attack came from her husband. She had asked him for a divorce 鈥� he was an alcoholic.

One day in 2015, she came home to her Georgia suburb to drop off some groceries when she saw him out of the corner of her eye.

鈥淗e was leaning against that wall, cocking the gun,鈥� she said.

He shot her six times, paralyzing her in one leg, before he killed himself.

Paulsen does not think having a gun would have helped her. She was ambushed.

鈥淢y brain went right to: Get out of this situation,鈥� said Paulsen. 鈥淚 wouldn鈥檛 have been able to get into a shootout with him.鈥�

She鈥檚 had plenty of time to think about it. After the attack, she learned to shoot as part of her recovery.

鈥淭he images I used to have of seeing him cocking that gun and pointing it at me, they kind of faded after I went through that training,鈥� said Paulsen. 鈥淎nd instead, the view was from behind the gun, with me holding the gun, said Paulsen.

For a while, carrying her gun around made her feel safer.

And then one day it didn鈥檛.

鈥淚 think I had a flight to go somewhere and I took it out and I just didn鈥檛 feel comfortable carrying it anymore,鈥� said Paulsen.

It was a lot of responsibility. She keeps it at home now, in her walker.

Janet Paulsen keeps her Smith & Wesson revolver in her walker. She bought it after her estranged husband shot and paralyzed her in 2015.

Bita Honarvar / WABE

Paulsen does not want anyone taking that gun away. But she has also become an advocate for restricting firearms access for abusers. of intimate partner homicides are committed using guns. Her advocacy has pitted her against Georgia鈥檚 staunch pro-gun community.

鈥淵ou say anything about gun control, people assume you are anti-gun. And obviously I鈥檓 not,鈥� said Paulsen, exasperated.

Learning to use gun helped Paulsen heal after her husband tried to kill her. She just does not believe that women鈥檚 safety should rest on their shoulders alone.

鈥淔orget laws, forget police, forget the judicial system. Your safety depends on whether you鈥檙e a good shot,鈥� she said.鈥淜now what? F*** that.鈥�

Stand Whose Ground?

Click 鈥減lay鈥� to listen to Part 2.

The right to bear arms is something many Americans believe applies to every law abiding citizen.

鈥淏ut in practice, in the way that our criminal justice system works, in the way that our law enforcement works, Second Amendment rights are actually really only protected for the select few,鈥� said Caroline Light, a cultural historian at Harvard University and author of 鈥淪tand Your Ground: A History of America鈥檚 Love Affair with Lethal Self-Defense.鈥�

The NRA and gun manufacturers began their modern pitch to women in the 1980s, according to Light.

鈥淚n order to sell commodities in the United States, it鈥檚 long been a tradition to appeal to people鈥檚 fear. That鈥檚 how deodorant and mouthwash got going,鈥� she said.

The same goes for guns, said Light. Statistics about women as targets of violence are a ready-made script for firearms marketers, said Light, as long as that narrative leaves out who is most likely to target them: men they know.

For Light, the gun industry鈥檚 messaging about has a troubled history.

鈥淭he implicit narrative of stranger danger is based on an ages old historical narrative in the United States 鈥� not just in the South 鈥� that framed black, brown and indigenous men as lethal threats to white women鈥檚 chastity and safety,鈥� she said.

You see it in about the justifications for lynching in the 19th and 20th centuries, said Light.

鈥淲here some or more African American people were extralegally murdered in the service of ,鈥� said Light, 鈥渁t the same time that black and brown women were being threatened, attacked and raped by white men.鈥�

鈥淭here鈥檚 this long history of hiding the happening to black and brown women by appealing to white women鈥檚 intrinsic vulnerability,鈥� said Light, 鈥渁nd this urgent need to protect white women from predatory strangers, implicitly thought of as being non-white.鈥�

So what happens when women do use guns in self-defense?

There鈥檚 no national data about how many women are criminalized for defending themselves against abusers. Light, along with public health researchers at Harvard, is working on collecting it now.

But from her work so far, 鈥渢he evidence shows me time and time again that women who try to protect themselves from their largest statistical threat, their own estranged or current intimate partners, end up going to prison,鈥� said Light.

Marissa

Marissa Alexander was sentenced to 20 years in prison for firing a warning shot at her abusive husband. There is no comprehensive data on how often domestic violence survivors are criminalized for self-defense.

Courtesy of Marissa Alexander

鈥淪o I had no idea I鈥檇 even be arrested,鈥� said Marissa Alexander.

In 2012, Marissa Alexander was sentenced to 20 years in prison aggravated assault. Nine days after giving birth, she had fired a warning shot at her jealous, husband.

Alexander鈥檚 sentencing made . Three months earlier, , an unarmed, black 17-year-old. Many saw her case as an example of how the criminal justice system can deliver different results depending on race and gender.

Stories like Alexander鈥檚 are one of the big reason professionals who work with women victims of violence struggle with advising women to arm themselves.

Alexander was raised around guns, trained by her Army veteran father. When she started carrying one as an adult, she was taking evening classes for her master鈥檚 degree.

鈥淚 wanted to make sure that as I was leaving school at night, for my protection that I would have a firearm present if needed. So I went ahead and got a weapons permit,鈥� said Alexander.

It was a 9 mm Glock that she mostly left in her car. She鈥檇 never had to pull her gun on anyone, until the night her husband attacked her.

Alexander had never heard of 鈥渟tand your ground鈥� until it failed to apply in her case.

Many women in her position take . But if, like Alexander, a case goes to trial, women may find that self-defense is not an for survivors of domestic violence.

Modern self-defense laws are an expansion of a much older common law principle called the 鈥渃astle doctrine,鈥� which basically says you should be able to protect yourself from an intruder in your home. They鈥檙e not designed to address violence coming from within the home.

Though using her gun led her to prison, separated her from her newborn and nearly cost her decades of freedom, Alexander believes it saved her life.

鈥淚 believe that that was the only thing that could ward off that attack that day,鈥� said Alexander.

But that didn鈥檛 stop her from being arrested and prosecuted. She won an appeal in 2013 and was . While in jail, she started hearing stories like hers from women around her and across the country 鈥� a lot of them with long sentences.

鈥淲hat I noticed is that there had been records and proof that these women鈥檚 abusers had been violent,鈥� she said, 鈥渁nd yet that was ignored.鈥�

So, in her experience, do guns keep women safe? Her answer is complicated.

鈥淭hey鈥檝e been around. They鈥檙e going to continue to be around,鈥� said Alexander. 鈥淎nd yet women aren鈥檛 any safer than they were many years ago.鈥�

Still, she doesn鈥檛 rule it out for other women. In fact, if she had a clean record and could own a gun again, she would. She wants it for the same reasons she carried before her arrest: the threat of an attack by a stranger.

Not Me?

Promotional photo for #NotMe Day, hosted by The Well Armed Woman Shooting Chapters. Founder Carrie Lightfoot promotes gun ownership for victims of violence.

Courtesy The Well Armed Woman

On June 1, 2019, a group called The Well Armed Woman encouraged women to wear purple and go to shooting ranges for what it called . Participants were encouraged to make a donation to the group鈥檚 nonprofit arm.

鈥淲e鈥檙e all going to fire three symbolic rounds,鈥� said the group鈥檚 founder, Carrie Lightfoot, in a released in April. 鈥淭he first round says 鈥業 am empowered.鈥� The second round says 鈥業 am prepared.鈥� And the third round says 鈥業 .鈥欌赌�

Lightfoot, a firearms instructor, founded The Well Armed Woman in 2012, which is now a nationwide empire offering advice, training, merchandising and a space for gun rights activism.

An estimated American women own a gun, compared to 6 out of 10 men. Many believe women鈥檚 gun ownership is on the rise, though that鈥檚 up for some .

Lightfoot is grateful that the firearm industry markets to women.

鈥淗ow are they going to meet our needs if they don鈥檛 market to us?鈥� she said. 鈥淲omen are coming to gun ownership seeking a solution to a problem that they have, which is being the prey.鈥�

Lightfoot is also a domestic violence survivor, though she said she has never had to fire a gun in self-defense. She opposes the expansion of laws that restrict domestic abusers鈥� access to firearms.

鈥淵ou know I have experience on both sides,鈥� said Lightfoot. 鈥淏ut I鈥檓 not willing to sacrifice due process, which is a foundation of this country. It鈥檚 a foundation of our Constitution.鈥�

Earlier in life, Lightfoot didn鈥檛 even let her children play with toy guns. For her, and for many women she trains, she says the shift in her beliefs about firearms happened in phases.

鈥淚 went through the emotional checklist of, 鈥楥ould I really use it?鈥� 鈥楥ould I actually pull the trigger on another human being?鈥欌€� she said.

Once the answer became 鈥測es鈥� and she got more comfortable firing guns, Lightfoot said they became part of her identity.

鈥淪o now you kind of settle into, 鈥業鈥檓 a gun owner. What does that mean?鈥欌€� said Lightfoot. 鈥淎nd you kind of start to get engaged, because now you start to connect the dots that what鈥檚 happening legislatively or politically now can impact something that I treasure.鈥�

A few days after our interview, Lightfoot emailed a link to an on a website dedicated to promoting concealed carrying.

In the report, women were out late on a Friday night when, according to police, a man tried to sexually assault one of them on a bridge. After a struggle, one of the women drew a gun and shot and killed the man. The woman who shot him was initially arrested for being intoxicated with a firearm. Police later decided the shooting was justified.

Lightfoot鈥檚 world is full of spotlighted anecdotes like these. She鈥檚 also surrounded by women who tell her guns make them feelsafe.

Through that lens, any statistics about women being harmed by men with guns are just more reasons to arm herself.

is a public media reporting project on the role of guns in American life.

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